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‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’: Incredible edibles make lunch a bunch of fun

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As Shannon Storms Beador rushes to get ready for the luncheon she’s hosting on “The Real Housewives of Orange County” this week, she notices her blouse is wrinkled, and, well, that just won’t do.

So she grabs an iron, and starts to press the wrinkles out of the shirt.

While she’s still wearing it.

And this, mind you, was before they busted out the marijuana edibles when the luncheon goes sideways, as all the best “Real Housewives” luncheons do.

“I’ve got to iron myself,” she says to herself in the bathroom of her Newport Beach home.

Gina Kirschenheiter, who had let herself in when Shannon didn’t answer the door, wanders into the doorway, catches her in the act, and is quite rightly shocked at what she sees.

“I just had to iron myself a little,” Shannon explains, as if that’s the most normal thing in the world to do. And who knows, maybe for Shannon it is.

The luncheon is Shannon’s idea for Heather Dubrow and Jen Armstrong to get to know, and understand, Noella Bergener a little better.

There were problems on the recent girls’ trip to Cabo, and problems before that, too. It’s a mission with high risks and a low probability of success, as everyone but Shannon can see.

“Good luck with that!” Emily Simpsons when Shannon tells her the plan.

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Making the odds even longer, unbeknownst to everyone until Jen and Heather show up at the luncheon, is the fact that Jen’s husband Ryne, who the previous week really did not want to have a heart-to-heart with her, has packed a bag and left their home, and Jen is a wreck.

“That’s not good,” says Heather when Jen tells her on the drive to Shannon’s.

“I need a divorce,” Jen moans to Heather before they arrive, to which Heather offers some good advice: Slow down, take a break, relationships are hard sometimes.

Shannon has just finished telling Emily and Noella about the benefit of eating “cleaner.”

“My stomach, you can push in, it’s like air,” she tells them.

Heather arrives with a hostess gift, because of course she does: A glass bowl, probably crystal, containing a bunch of fun-size edibles. Apparently, Heather and Shannon have been exploring some of the new California-legal pot provisions.

“A little microdose of an edible is kind of fabulous,” Heather tells the camera. “And Shannon and edibles do very well together.”

Jen, who had told Heather she wasn’t going to talk about her marriage at lunch, spills the beans the instant the first person at the lunch table asks her how she’s been.

“I just stopped crying for 13 hours,” she says.

Noella jumps on the opportunity to offer some helpful thoughts.

“Was there a pre-nup?” she asks, and suddenly the room goes quiet.

“I don’t think that’s helpful,” Emily observes.

“I’m just throwing it out there,” Noella replies, which provokes Emily to leave the table.

“I’m literally here just to keep my nose down and eat a (bleepin’) piece of chicken,” Noella says to the half-empty table.

Stress levels have risen, and Shannon wants to serve the cookies for dessert, but first she and Heather share a different kind of treat.

Ten minutes later, which frankly seems a bit fast for the weed candy to take effect, Shannon is having what you could call a squat-off with Emily, seeing who can drop into the deepest squat.

“Feel mine! Is it firm?” asks Shannon, who dipped it lowest.

Emily grabs her derriere with both hands and pronounces it firm.

After Shannon announces she’s going to “pee in my pants,” and Heather cautions her not to jump up and down, the lunch wraps up with a slowed-and-lowered voice effect on Shannon that suggests she’s now in the grips of full-blown reefer madness.

Here’s what else we saw on Wednesday:

• One of the joys of “Shannon moments” is how often her housewife friends make fun of her strange ideas to her face. Like when she apologizes to Gina and Noella without explanation, forcing Gina to ask why.

“My rug didn’t arrive in time, so I don’t even have a rug,” she tells them.

“I can’t stay at this party!” Gina says, throwing her arms up in mock disgust.

“My heels are clacking on the floor like a peasant,” Noella says.

• Noella shares in a camera confessional that when she feels attacked by the other women she lashes out.

“I’ve realized I’m the psycho of the relationship,” she tells the camera.

• Shannon has discovered edibles but she still might get lost in the marijuana store. During a confessional, an off-camera producer asks her what the difference is between her edible and “smoking a blunt or hitting a bong?”

“What’s a blunt?” she replies. “What did you just say? Is that a joint?”

• Shannon and Emily invite Jen to a restaurant to check on how she’s doing at home with Ryne. When Jen orders prawns, fish and chips, and “a dirty martini, I want filth,” Shannon has her answer.

“Um, the dirtiest martini and fried food?” she says to the camera. “Oh, I’ve been there. It has not been a good day for Dr. Jen Armstrong.”

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