“If you haven’t heard from me in a half hour, call the police and ask them to get me out of the freezer,” I texted my daughter.  

“I’m unlocking the kitchen door so they can get in, but let them know my legs are blocking the door, so tread lightly.”

I had opened my two-tiered pull-out bottom freezer to get a bagel. As I reached for the bag, a box of mini quiches that had been teetering on the bag slipped off and fell behind the freezer. If you have such a device you know how crazy making that can be. 

If you don’t, trust me on this.

My first instinct was to put my arm down the small space and grab the box but once I was in up to my elbow I could go no farther. Fearing I might get stuck, I backed out and searched for some objects to aid my reach. The broomstick handle was long enough but it knocked the box under the shelves. When both the yardstick and George’s old long-handled barbecue fork failed, I turned to Google.

All this time the freezer door is stuck open because the runaway box is now blocking it and I am trying to compose a question that Google will understand. Suppose no one has ever asked this question before and I am the only person who ever had the problem? 

Finally, in desperation, I must have mumbled something because my cell phone screen started writing answers.

They had responses at the ready which meant I wasn’t the only person with the problem. At times like this, it’s important to know you are not alone. As the Google team carefully guided me through unfastening the freezer drawers and removing them, I saw there was no getting around cleaning out the content of the freezer so I could lift out the drawers.

At the very bottom, stuck to the freezer floor, was one of those frozen entrees that you buy because it’s on sale and you figure you’ll eat it someday. Then, when someday comes along it’s either expired or you are afraid you will expire if you eat it.

I don’t know why older people complain about life being boring. In the past two weeks, I have crawled inside an outdoor trash can to retrieve my glasses, which were floating in a strange colored liquid. Tonight I mastered – OK, “mastered” might be an overstatement – the art of dismantling a freezer and actually getting it back together. And let’s not forget rescuing the wayward box. 

My life is just one adventure after another. 

Email [email protected]. Follow her on X @patriciabunin and Patriciabunin.com 

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