I moved to Southern California in the ’80s with a suitcase full of skin tight spandex pants, ripped fishnet tank tops and extra large glam metal dreams of becoming the next Bret Michaels, Vince Neil or Joe Elliott.

The Stadium Tour, featuring Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard, Poison, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts and Classless Act, at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood on Saturday was a bittersweet trip down memory lane, filled with could-have-been-me flashback fantasies and when-rock-was-real overwrought hand-wringing.

I clearly wasn’t alone in longing for the good old days. It was definitely AARP night at SoFi Stadium with fans in line waiting to get into the show talking about the excitement of becoming a grandparent. Gray hair replaced the big hair of the ’80s and those who insisted on wearing skin tight attire bulged in all the wrong places. The bands also played their parts — decked out in the leather, glitter and tattoos that defined the glam metal era.

But this tour, which has played across baseball and football stadiums this summer, was also a multi-generational affair with father-son, mother-daughter and father-daughter duos spotted taking selfies together.

On this particular night, Mötley Crüe was awful. There was no comparison between the two-coheadliners. Def Leppard delivered a rock show for the ages and Mötley Crüe’s performance indicated that they’d be better off in a retirement home sweet home. Meanwhile, Poison was joyous, Joan Jett was legendary and opening band Classless Act was ascendant.

Mötley Crüe

What went wrong with this set? Tommy Lee’s bass drum was nauseously loud — to the point of drowning out everything else. Vince Neil, who was always a better frontman than singer, somehow failed on both fronts — wavering between disinterest and disdain. The performance was lifeless, plodding and ridiculously loud. The duct-taped-together band seemed to be going through its paces in hopes of making it through the evening.

“Who likes the old (expletive)?” Neil said introducing “Too Fast For Love.” “We’ll do something really (expletive) old.”

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The band seemed to be overcompensating on several fronts in a desperate attempt to disguise a multitude of shortcomings and sins. The limber and gyrating backup singers/dancers/strippers felt like a grasp at long-faded youth. The fun, irreverent and rollicking “Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)” was none of those things — with the band barely seeming to be playing the same song. The swaggering “Looks That Kill” that should have been an easy layup for the band was a struggle. Neil seemed to be unfamiliar with the lyrics of songs he’s sung for decades — which, to be fair, was the case in the ‘80s as well.

The biggest cheer from the crowd came from the younger generation, who had tagged along with their parents, when Machine Gun Kelly appeared on the video screen to sing a recorded verse from “The Dirt (Est. 1981)” from the Netflix movie soundtrack.

Things only got worse from there. A medley of covers from the band’s early days felt like filler. “Dr. Feelgood” was a nearly unrecognizable wall of noise. The highlight of the set was “Home Sweet Home,” in large part because the crowd sang most of it. Sadly, at least on this night, Mötley Crüe seemed hopelessly past their prime and ready for that long-promised retirement.

Def Leppard

Def Leppard’s set was a master class in rock show pacing and song placement. Open with a song from the new album (“Take What You Want”) when everyone is still making their way back from the bar or the bathroom, while quickly highlighting the band’s dual guitar attack. Head right into some old stuff (“Let It Go”) to pay fan service to those who have been along for the entire ride. Drop in a huge hit (“Animal”) from your biggest album (“Hysteria”) before launching into a Top 10 single (“Foolin’”) from your breakout record (“Pyromania”). Sprinkle in some ballads and acoustic numbers in the middle, rev up the rockers for the finale and turn on the house lights.

Every part of the stadium show was big, bold, loud and extremely well produced — just like their music.

My favorite moments of the night all came during Def Leppard’s set: Guitarists Phil Collen and Vivian Campbell stepping to the fore of the stage to trade licks reminded everybody why they came out for a 7-hour marathon of a show; A golden gong dropping from the rafters so drummer Rick Savage could whack it one time at the end of “Hysteria”; Polaroids of the band members through the years filling the big screens like a high school yearbook during “Photograph.”

Poison

Poison’s homecoming performance at SoFi pulsed with unbridled joy. As their set made clear, the boys from Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, by way of the Sunset Strip are still having nothin’ but a good time.

“Southern California, I cannot stop smiling,” singer Bret Michaels said. “I think you can tell I’m wicked fired up tonight.”

Poison — like all the bands on the bill except Def Leppard — call Los Angeles home. The Stadium Tour — and the return to Southern California — was a long time coming with show dates postponed twice because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Poison seemed like a tight, well-oiled rock n’ roll machine.

Guitarist C.C. DeVille’s performance carried the band, which relied heavily on his guitar pyrotechnics during a set that revealed the thinness of its catalog. I wanted to hear more from their “Look What the Cat Dragged In” debut that rocketed them to MTV stardom.

The highlight of the set — and likely every Poison concert — was “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” Everyone knows the chorus by heart and many in the crowd seemed to know all the verses — the lyrics returning by muscle memory like praying the rock n’ roll rosary. Fans dutifully turned on their smartphone camera lights throughout “Rose” even though it was still daylight inside the stadium.

Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Jett grew nostalgic for her adopted hometown as she introduced the first song she ever wrote – “You Drive Me Wild.”

“I used to live here,” Jett said to cheers. “Started my first band here called The Runaways.”

Among the highlights from Jett’s SoFi set: “Cherry Bomb” (The Runaways hit), “Do You Wanna Touch Me” (a Gary Glitter cover) and “I Hate Myself for Loving You” (A bubblegum rocker with an irresistible chorus). The band closed with a one-two punch that featured the obligatory singalong crowd pleaser, “I Love Rock n Roll,” before launching into the rousing and rumbling “Bad Reputation.”

Classless Act

Los Angles-based outfit Classless Act, which opened the show, had the most to say about the future of rock ‘n’ roll circa 2022. The quintet are signed to Better Noise Music, which is also home to the solo projects of Mötley Crüe players Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx.

Classless Act has taken advantage of its newfound relationships with rock ‘n’ roll royalty to pen songs featuring vocals by Mötley Crüe’s frontman and Justin Hawkins of The Darkness on its debut album, which came out in June.

The band played the stadium gig with boundless energy, as if the house was full even if the ushers outnumbered the audience as the crowd streamed in throughout its opening set. Rapper DMC of Run DMC made a surprise appearance on “Storm Before the Calm,” signaling a potential upcoming collaboration.

Classless Act drummer Chuck “El Chuco” McKissock waded into the crowd on the floor after the band’s set in search of his parents somewhere in SoFi.

“It’s a blast playing in L.A. and to be back home,” said McKissock, gazing up at the 70,000 seats still filling up. “It’s amazing.”

Among the highlights from Classless Act’s far too short set: “Give It to Me” and “This is for You.”

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Was it worth breaking my quarter-century glam metal moratorium to see these bands at SoFi Stadium? Absolutely.

Mötley Crüe may have disappointed, but Def Leppard and Poison made me remember what I loved about the music that some say signaled the death rattle of rock n’ roll. The Blackhearts were a fun bubblegum-flavored trip down memory lane and Classless Act gave me hope that the future of rock n’ roll is in good hands.

Rock isn’t dead if you take the time to get to know the latest practitioners. For now, I’m going to stick with the young guns and look forward to my next Struts, Dirty Honey or Black Stone Cherry concert. I’ll happily live my 1980s rock star dreams through the next generation of rockers.

The Stadium Tour

With: Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard, Poison, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts and Classless Act

When: Saturday, Aug. 27

Where: SoFi Stadium, Inglewood