Noella Bergener and Heather Dubrow do not like each other. At all.

Despite that, few fireworks go off on the penultimate episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” season.

For a moment – 12:04 a.m. thanks to the text on screen – it looked like Noella and Heather might air-kiss and make up. Heather wanted an apology. Noella … well, she couldn’t quite get there.

“I’m a grown-(up) woman with a beautiful life,” Heather shouts, adding that Noella is a “thirsty girl.”

“I’m kind of shocked you know what ‘thirsty’ is,” Noella replies in what will not be her only jab at Heather’s age this week.

Eavesdropping from the kitchen, Gina Kirschenheiter is eating chicken salad like Michael Jackson eating popcorn in that GIF from the “Thriller” video.

“Maybe we should bring Heather and Noella the chicken salad,” she says after bonding with frenemy Shannon Storms Beador. “I feel like it promotes friendship.”

The sun rises the next morning to Mark the Butler – he came with the Aspen mansion they’re staying in – mixing a Bloody Mary for Noella because she just cannot deal yet with a day that promises an archery outing followed by a tour of a Colorado mine.

“Let’s give her vodka and then give her an arrow,” Gina says to Emily Simpson. “That seems safe.”

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Better the bows and arrows than Shannon’s original idea to get some six-shooters and rifles, Emily tells the camera.

“I’m glad we decided on archery, because with a gun and her neurotic hands” – pause for a montage of Shannon waving her hands as she is wont to do – “would not be safe,” she says.

Meanwhile, Noella is lying in bed as Mark the Butler serves her a Bloody Mary and a bowl of fruit.

She calls a friend to gripe about Heather, while Heather holds court in the kitchen to do the same about Noella.

“It was high school with wrinkles,” Noella says of Heather’s attitude the night before.

“If it wasn’t so irritating, it would almost be fascinating,” Heather tells her coterie.

Here’s what else we saw on Wednesday.

— Emily, not surprisingly, was excellent at archery, hitting bullseyes and popping balloons with her shots. “If there really is a ‘Hunger Games’ situation, I’m glad she’s on my side,” Gina notes.

— Shannon, who simply loves a good costume (and a bad one, too, I suppose) has brought a pair of full-body bear costumes for her and Emily to wear later that night to try to scare the other wives.

“Operation Bear,” Shannon calls it. “Two bears are better than one.”

The bears fail to really scare, but Emily is impressed with Shannon’s dedication to the bit. Not only did she get the costumes, she got a bear sound effects device to tuck in her bra and produce somewhat authentic bear noises.

— Gina, always our sharpest commentator, is a bit off her game this week. She’s sharp, but after drinks at dinner, a little bit mean, too, getting upset with Noella for not remembering meeting one of Gina’s friends.

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