My adult son Cheetah Boy has a new routine these days. It starts around 3 every morning, when our new Siamese cat begins to yowl for attention.

The yowls get progressively louder and more insistent, taking on a bullying tone, until finally my son does get up — to go sleep on the couch. The cat won’t sleep quietly in bed with him. He doesn’t want to sleep at all. He wants to be worshipped and entertained.

The second part of the new routine happens around 11 a.m., when my son is finally awake, and starts looking around for the cat so he can play with him. Naturally, the cat is nowhere to be found, possibly having hitched a ride somewhere and now living in Oregon.

Cheetah Boy spends 20 minutes looking for the beast, and finally finds him in a hiding place, where he’s napping silently and ignoring our pathetic attempts to get his attention. We haven’t learned yet what will lure this cat from his hiding place. I’ve shaken the treats box. Nothing. I haven’t tried the can opener yet, but that might work. (Certainly works for the dog.) Maybe walking around with a can of tuna will work.

Today, the son finally found him. Inside the wood-burning fireplace in the living room that we thought we had carefully blockaded to make sure he couldn’t get in.  I must say he’s the only one who’s used that fireplace for a long time. Luckily, the fireplace box is spotlessly clean, due to my relentless and spotless housekeeping.

Yeah, OK, that’s a lie. The last time I cleaned out that fireplace was … well … never. I’ve only owned this house since 2006, so that’s understandable. No sense rushing into things.

Some of you are thinking, “Wait. Wait. What are you talking about. A cat?” Yes, I’ve wanted another cat for years. We couldn’t get one when the dear departed Buddy the Wonder Dog was alive, because he considered every cat alive to be a personal insult to his species. He was determined to bark at all of them until they simply vanished, and that’s what happened to our last cat, Jeeves. This was sad, but it left Buddy in sole possession of our house, which was just the way he liked it.

Six years ago, we added Lil Wayne, a Generic White Dog from the shelter, to our house and he made himself right at home. He’s like a fluffy animated stuffed animal with the personality of a Teletubbie. I figured he would tolerate a cat, since he tends to love everyone and everything, except the mail carrier.

My mom always had Siamese cats, and that’s what I was hoping to find. Unfortunately, it’s hard to find them at the shelters, because they’re usually snatched up by Siamese rescue people. I’ve never been able to get a pet from a rescue, apparently I don’t have whatever magic mojo you need to have your application accepted, so I just kept looking online at shelters.

Last week, for reasons I can’t explain, the face of a Siamese cat popped up at me when I was surfing Facebook. And — whoa — he was available to adopt at the Long Beach Animal Care Services. I wasn’t waiting a minute. I grabbed my son, who was lolling around his room, and we drove over there immediately, saw the cat and applied to adopt him, thanks to a nice volunteer named Susan.

It doesn’t make any sense to me, but there are two separate animal shelters side-by-side in Long Beach at El Dorado Park. One is run by the SPCA-LA and is large and well advertised. The other is run by the city of Long Beach. It’s unmarked and invisible with only a sign that says “Admissions.” I’m sure there’s some perfectly reasonable explanation why there should be two separate and competing shelters in the same complex but Long Beach Animal Care Services is definitely the neglected stepchild of the two. So we were glad to adopt from them.

In our family, we don’t buy. We only adopt (even kids, ha). Cheetah Boy and I spent time discussing names for the new feline, and “Cairo” was the winner. He’s an 18-month-old Sealpoint Siamese mix, and very handsome. He started purring the moment Cheetah Boy laid hands on him. We kept Cairo in my son’s room for four days, so he could get used to the house without the stress of the dog. However, now they are tolerating each other very well.

I had been afraid that Lil Wayne would bark at Cairo and scare him to death, ending any hope that they might become friends. However, the opposite happened. Lil Wayne has been respectful and polite, walking up repeatedly to the cat and wagging his tail, pleading with his eyes for him to play. The cat has responded by hissing at him, driving the dog away with a sad look on his face.

This is why it’s useless to worry about anything, my friends. Nothing you worry about ever happens. You still have plenty of drama, but it comes from out of nowhere. I don’t know if the pets will ever become friends, but so far there hasn’t been any bloodshed. Stay tuned.

Related links

Marla Jo Fisher: Meet our new Generic White Dog
12 reasons to have a dog instead of a kid
Marla Jo Fisher: 10 things my dog would say if he spoke English
Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: What it’s like to be a major celebrity
Marla Jo Fisher: I like saying ‘no’ to my kids

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