I’m fed up, and not only from constant noshing.
It’s those kids changing the meanings of everything and expecting us to translate.
If I “dropped an album,” I’d need to bend down and pick up the pieces. Nope! I just learned it refers to a singer who is releasing new music. Who knew?
Who knows anything anymore? I’m either Googling privately (don’t ask what that is) or checking Wikipedia, which sounds like part of a candle dedicated to little babies’ doctors.
I know nothing!
“I’m down with this.” Remember when “up” used to be a good thing? Now “down” means something positive, or understanding a situation. So to be clear, “down” is as good as the down in our favorite pillow, though it doesn’t mean being sad, is that correct?
But what about buttons in an elevator? Up is …? What!?
We now need a young person with us to navigate.
(On another matter irrelevant to this discussion:) We also now watch some entertainers with a fear of losing their private parts holding on to them for dear life as they perform. Whose gonna steal them?
Sometimes it looks as though they might swallow their microphones or make love to it. Most of their lyrics start with “mother,” which is sweet until the next word is heard. Not smooth like Ella Fitzgerald and Mel Torme or Frank or dear Tony Bennett.
(Additionally, about hip-hop artists:) In case you were unaware of this historical fact, we Laguna Woods residents were the first hip-hop artists after getting new knees and hips.
Yes, I do enjoy new things, new experiences, including learning new words.
Yes, I know what “spongeable” is and “sponge-worthy,” thanks to Elaine on “Seinfeld,” but what the heck is “fungible” and now NON-fungible?
According to Wikipedia: “A non-fungible token (NFT) is a non-interchangeable unit of data stored on a blockchain, a form of digital ledger, that can be sold and traded.”
OK, I’m definitely not down with that!
Even with this explanation, I still don’t know and actually … don’t care. However, Mr. Noah Webster is probably spinning in his grave.
On the other hand (the one that is not protecting his you know what), could Webster be down with it all, investing in non-fungibles in his downtime — or wait, is it uptime? Help!
Humorologist Jan Marshall, a Village resident, is author of satirical survival books, including “Dancin’ Schmancin’ with the Scars. Finding the Humor No Matter What!” Jan also has written aspirational books for children, “The Littlest Hero” and “The Toothbrush Who Tried to Run Away.” Contact her at [email protected].