So my trip to Africa was a failure. Yes, we saw elephants, lions, cheetahs, leopards, Cape buffaloes, zebras, hippos, warthogs, hyenas, wildebeest and more. It was a regular “Lion King” extravaganza. Sometimes, we saw them so up-close we could count their nose hairs.

But I consider any trip a failure when I don’t manage to wear everything in my suitcase, on the theory that it was wasted space and effort. The perfect trip for me would be one in which I wore everything in my small carry-on at least once. If you read last week’s column, you know I have a system for packing light, and it works.

This time, I went on a 10-day trip to Kenya, including four game parks, with my smallish carry-on and a day pack. Over the years, I’ve learned to pack economically, with everything I need and nothing else. This time, however, I brought a bathing suit I never wore, because our schedule was just too hectic to spend any time lounging around the pool. That was failure number one. Then, I brought a blue-and-brown print blouse that I always manage to wear on a trip, because it has a virtual explosion of colors and therefore doesn’t show the stains when I drop food on it, which I invariably do. Usually, there’s food on my clothes by the end of breakfast.

“Mom, we can’t take you anywhere,” is usually how I find out there’s food on me, uttered in a disgusted tone by my children while they roll their eyes. This is true, actually, and it’s a result of being a hard news reporter for most of my life. When you are writing every day on deadline, you’re trying to shovel your dinner into your mouth while simultaneously interviewing people on the phone and trying to type your story on your computer, while your editor yells at you to hurry up and file it.

This does not foster good table manners. My parents raised me with nice manners, but they have all disappeared over the decades of tight deadlines. Anyway, I was talking about Africa.

I was stunned when I got back from Kenya and pulled out my colorful print blouse, realizing I’d never worn it even once. Along with a pair of shorts and two plastic rain ponchos, that did conclude the collection of unworn clothes, which isn’t all that bad, really, except that I have this goal to wear everything.

Luckily for us, it did rain while we were there, but only after dark. Like in Camelot, a place I tried to explain to my children but they just looked at me blankly, like when they explain famous people on TikTok to me.

Visiting Africa is a life-changing experience and I highly recommend it. This was my second trip to Kenya — a country I’ve grown to love. After our first trip 15 years ago, I assumed I’d never go back. After all, it takes 20 hours of flying to get there. But now, after my second trip, I’m thinking maybe I need to go back yet again. There are game parks I still haven’t seen. I suppose I should branch out and go to some other African countries, but I like Kenya and I like our safari operator, Mr. Bhatt of Kenia Tours & Safaris, so I might just go back again.

The Kenyan government is working hard to protect its wild animals and there are numerous game parks to visit, where they don’t even let you out of the safari van so you don’t mess with them. I can’t remember ever being anywhere the people were as kind and friendly as they were in Kenya, and it was just a joy to be around them. They were delighted we were there, after two years of no tourists and no work, and we were delighted to get to know them, however slightly.

The safari lodges were beautiful and every room had a spacious terrace to enjoy the landscape. Sometimes you could see wild animals just outside your room, including elephants, baboons, monkeys and antelope. We didn’t see any animals at the Lake Nakuru Lodge though, because of the lions. Yes, lions.

I was in the bathroom in my room at this beautiful lodge and I suddenly heard something that sounded like surprisingly like lions roaring. But I thought I must be mistaken, because how could I possibly have heard lions in my bathroom.

I went back out on my lovely terrace and picked up the book I was reading, and I suddenly saw a security person walk by. “Did you hear the lion?” he asked me.

“Yes!” I shrieked. “It was a lion!”

He told me there were two male lions nearby, and so the guards were patrolling the perimeter of the lodge to make sure they didn’t come on the (fenced) property. He also explained that the lions had frightened away all the game in the area, so that’s why we weren’t seeing any animals outside our rooms. This made me wonder whether I should read my book indoors. But it was so pleasant out there that I stayed put, and I’m here to tell the tale.

I have so much more to tell you, but my cruel editors won’t let me have any more room this week, so I’ll blather on next week. See you then.

Related links

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Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: Travel misadventures with, and without, underwear
Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: Travel misadventures make great stories — when you get home
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